Change

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Greetings readers! I have been meaning to blog for a while now but time didn't let me. I was caught up in my studies that even the simplest desire to write got overwhelmed and forgotten. Speaking of which, I'll leave my results to Allah S.W.T in judging my efforts for my exam.

So now, let me start my story.

For the past 18 years, I have been negligent in my duties to Allah S.W.T. Being raised in an Islamic country and by Muslim parents; people would surely think that I’d be doing good deeds and serving Allah S.W.T every day but no. My knowledge in my religion was limited and in no ways are my parents to be blamed: they have delivered knowledge according to the rightful Islamic upbringing. Due to my own ignorance I nourished my sins: pride, gluttony, lust, sloth, wrath, greed and envy. My heart became cold to Mom’s constant lecture of Islam and the consequences of my actions.

I believed I was the best; I was arrogant and selfish. But who was I to judge myself? I look at people; criticize them and even bad-mouth them, when the person I should have looked at was I, myself. I started hanging out with people, enjoying the company, forgetting to perform my prayers. I thought being social would get me more friends and as I gained more friends, there was even more drama and life entered complications. Desires got the best of everyone. That was when I realize humans do not give happiness, being close to Allah does.

The more I used foul language, the more my heart becomes dark. The more I skipped my prayers, the more usual I sleep with guilt. The more I lounged outside, the more I feel insecure. Something was missing in my life. Until I found three things that made me feel at ease: telekung, sejadah and Al-Quran.

Telekung makes me humble, a self realization that I am a fragile human being. Sejadah makes me realize that I’m in a secure area from dunia where my thoughts are only focused on Allah S.W.T. And finally, Al-Quran, Masya Allah, a kitab that will make the intentions in our heart pure by understanding the contents. With this my friends, life finally has a meaning: to please Allah S.W.T with all our might and to ignore this dunia for akhirat.

Sometimes I wonder why people of different races are so devoted to their religion. It makes me think about myself and my religion. How shameful I am to have a religion but not devote myself to it. I was born a Muslim and that in itself is a blessing. Truthfully I was an ignorant Muslim and now I want to be a Muslim by heart and by soul. Insya Allah.

I created this blog because I want to share with you the hardships I went through for a change, how this change has enhanced me to become a better person and remind myself that I am only a humble servant of Allah S.W.T. In here I want you to witness my growth and in any ways if I make mistakes in the future, please correct any of my wrongs.

This.. is where I start my change.