Assalamu'alaikum wrb,
Dearest brothers and sisters,
You know sometimes when we're doing something fun, time just seems to fly by so fast? But when we're doing ibadah everything just feels so slowwwwww. And I'm thinking, exactly! Ibadah is supposed to be slow, Allah is giving you that time to savour the moments between you and Him. And when it's something we call fun- usually there's no Allah there. I mean, come on. Movie nights, K-box, dates, hangouts, Twister, jamming, LoL, PS, gossiping, etc: is there Allah in these things? Rarely. Very rarely.
Dearest brothers and sisters,
You know sometimes when we're doing something fun, time just seems to fly by so fast? But when we're doing ibadah everything just feels so slowwwwww. And I'm thinking, exactly! Ibadah is supposed to be slow, Allah is giving you that time to savour the moments between you and Him. And when it's something we call fun- usually there's no Allah there. I mean, come on. Movie nights, K-box, dates, hangouts, Twister, jamming, LoL, PS, gossiping, etc: is there Allah in these things? Rarely. Very rarely.
When we don't know who He is, we dread the time we spend in our prayer or any other ibadah. But when we learn to know who our Creator is, we crave for the time where we will spend in His remembrance.
I used to chase pointless love to a point of changing taste in music, or the way I dress just to get the other person's attention. But really? Who was I kidding? But when I found the love of Allah. Like that's it. Everything felt right, the halal way, the right way. Even if I were to be with someone right now, and it "feels" right, it's still wrong for me because.. it's not even halal. I still have a guilty conscience to Allah too.
All those stuff I deemed fun.. yes they were fun I admit. But they all lack one thing. Serenity. And when I was thrown to UK where I had to fend for myself, my only salvation was in my prostration. The need to humbly submit to The One who listens. And that's when my authentic love story began.. and it still is. It keeps renewing every single day. It's so overwhelming. His love.
Who would have thought that this Sarah who loved being athletic and boyish and this Sarah who never in a million years would agree to make-ups and skirts.. suddenly changes from skinny jeans to skirts every single day? To a point when if I don't wear skirts anymore now I feel queer in a lot of ways. Even in sports. Even when I hike, yes! Now I tell you that's His love.
I used to strive for competition; to be number one. And it was tough battling the intelligent, the natural talents, in all others stuff I wanted to be good at: singing, music, dancing, Rubix cube (yes, LOL it was an in thing once), blogging, acting, running, hockey, etc. I hated the fact that I can never be at the top. There will always be someone replacing the top in due time.
But once I found His love, I only have to strive for Him. Do any kindness and He will give you reward. And man, I am waiting for Jannatul Firdaus. True, I can be one of those Muslims who pray five times a day and that's it. I might get Jannah but not THE highest Jannah. Seriously? I'm selfish. I want the highest of the highest reward and that's Jannatul Firdaus. So I do all these things some people deem "extreme" which I TOO used to deem extreme but really now I know these "extreme" (now it's the norm and awesome!) will get me there faster. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I'm a straight Jannah person, but a servant can hope right? Hope, fear and love? :)
And here I am sharing this story because.... Jannatul Firdaus is not for one person only. I want you.. to share this journey with me too.
