Greetings brothers and sisters! The month of April is here now. Alhamdulillah. It is all due to the blessings from Allah S.W.T. We wake up and continue to be grateful and live our lives but let's not forget who we are and where we come from.
In all honesty, I have not been keeping tabs to my end of the bargain. I do, I do still wear the hijab but I still, I still sometimes do not - especially now that I attend dance training. To be a full-fledged Muslimah there are things we have to sacrifice; things that should not have been brought into our culture in the first place. But in this modern mixed world, everything is upside down especially on the Islamic turnout. Many are believers but not many are doers.
My Mom keeps saying all what I am doing right now is a complete waste of time. I still do not know why.. am I still doing it. I attend dance training especially since I have been accepted into a group who now I treat as family, I go jamming with my band-mates every now and then, I just learned to play the guitar and practice to upgrade my skills when I assume I have nothing else to do, I still watch Korean dramas, Japanese dramas and anime. In a way all I'm doing is gaining skills and fulfilling desires for this world and this world only which gives entirely nothing to my Akhirah.
I guess we are all in the same boat. We know it is worthless but we still keep doing it. The drive to pursue our ambitions and dreams in this world pushes our faith aside or even if it is there, it is only a small piece of what should be whole and pure. We question it but we have no real answers. And here I am, writing about it and still getting nothing.
Life is a question that we have to solve. 19 years of living has gave me that. And I'm only still starting my journey.
