Saturday, August 19, 2017

Raison D'etre

My eyes fluttered open to the blinding white light. In that second, all my five senses came to life grasping to take in my surrounding. I felt the warmth emanating from the duvet that covers most of my body. A beautiful melodious voice filled the air. The sound radiated tranquility in my heart and soul.

I saw someone praying wearing a black prayer clothing. Amirah. Someone was resting against the bed and reciting the Qur'an. Fathin. The source of the beautiful melodious voice. I smiled despite the dryness of my lips from the duration of my slumber. A question formed in my head, "Is this Jannah?".

I have never felt more peaceful until this moment in time. If time can be frozen, I pray it was frozen at that moment. Fully alert, I stayed on the bed and decided to let my eyes and ears became pilot to the story that was unfolding in front of me.

Amirah has finished praying. 2 raka'ahs of sunnah prayer. Fathin finished her last verse recitation, closed her tafsir and slowly made her way to the prayer mat. Amirah took her position to the right of Fathin, one step behind and adjusted her distance. After taking a moment to establish their intention, Fathin broke the silence, "Allahu Akbar".

My eyes started to close. I willed it to stay open, to witness the prayer of Fajr. Even if I wasn't standing beside them, at least I wanted to claim the reward of listening to the recitations too. So I forced myself up and dragged my feet to the toilet. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. As I went out of the toilet, they were already at the last tahiyyat.

Silence ensued as both Fathin and Amirah made their du'as. As they finished, they stood to take off their prayer clothings. But before they were able to do so, I looked at them with a face full of longing.

"Ma'thurat together?"

***

A journey to claim back our ikigai. Our raison d'etre. Our reason of being.