To the end; to the beginning.

Assalammualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Without a doubt, 2011 is hours from ending and 2012 is hours from beginning. To be able to breathe now, I am thankful. Praises to Allah S.W.T. for giving me a chance to make a change and serve him at my utmost. Another year has passed after 2010. I might not be fully contented with myself now but I can rightfully admit that I've become better than who I used to be. Alhamdulillah.

I watched New Year's Eve, a Hollywood movie and I have to say that it is a beautiful story of how life changes due to decisions that we make. But we are Muslims; and our life differs so much than theirs who succumb to alcohol, pork or lust for joy. In no means am I critizing the other religions - I'm just saying that we as Muslims, are asked to control ourselves to achieve Jannah - a heaven for the servants who have served Allah S.W.T. with sincerity of Rasullah S.A.W.

Humans all over the world today are reunited, as we all enter 2012 Masihi together! As we are in the mid of Safar, I wish everyone a Happy New Year! Forgive and forget with sincerity the people who you have held on your grudges to, smile and start anew :) Change yourself step by step. Don't change into someone else, be someone better! Do charity! Do not hope and expect; instead say Alhamdulillah into the blessings that Allah S.W.T. has provided us with.

To my family, my best friends, my close friends, the people who I have just met, the people who I have loved - you have my gratitude for making me who I am today.

The Struggle

Assalammualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Everyone can start a change. I started to pray every day for the last two years (with the exception of some days and Subuh) and still went out without covering my aurat. Tell me, does that sound right? Thinking back I was shameful. But let me tell you what, it IS a start. Do not be ashamed, but do not be proud of it as well. Pray every day, renew your faith; eventually you will come to a firm decision to cover your aurat. A question I ask myself now, “How do you become a full Muslimah when you still walk out from your house uncovered?”

The undeniable truth, I am still struggling actually. REALLY STRUGGLING. You cannot imagine how I constantly battle with the desire to wear something nice which refers to revealing my body parts and showing my hair. The ugly truth be told, I love getting boys’ attention and being complimented by people. Who doesn’t? Now that I am midway of being fully covered, people just do not look at me as much. I am invisible in a way. Sometimes I miss those compliments and argue with myself to reveal my aurat to the world. But in the end the one question that brings me back to the real path is “Who do I want to please? People or Allah? Where do I want to go? Hell or Jannah?” THANK YOU ALLAH S.W.T. You are my savior. You know what is best for me. Alhamdulillah.

If I think about it deeper I should be grateful, boys only look at me when I’m uncovered which means they are full of lust. Being invisible now means I’m protected from shame, false accusations and eye undressing.

Fellow sisters, let me tell you, IT’S NOT WORTH IT. All the attention, the fame, the vanity – it cannot even compete with the enormous reward you will reap if you fight from it all.

I'm not perfect - I tend to make mistakes here and there still. I make judgements. But I pray everyday, that I can one step at a time throw the bad habits of mine.... purity is a hard thing to achieve but Insya Allah. With patience, doa and action we can change! Amin.