No One

Assalamu'alaikum wrb,

Dearest sisters and brothers,

Sometimes.. have you ever felt like.. no one understands you?

Let me tell you that yes, it is supposed to be that way.

Because that's where you find connection with Your Creator.

If there is someone who understands you wholly... you'd forget about the other world - the Eternal Life. You'd make this world your haven. It isn't.

That why you need to always seek refuge in Him.

We are such selfish creed being. Once we attain what we want, we'd forget Him. It's unfortunate but it's true. Every single thing on this earth makes us forget Him. Dunya = pleasure. Spend in it too much, we'd drown. We want the unattainable. So we need balance.

And balance is what we currently need to seek. A reminder for myself, first and foremost.

The Changeling

Assalamu'alaikum wrb dearest sisters and brothers,

May all of us still be granted hidayah and walking on His path :)

It was four years ago, in class that I wrote this composition. I enjoyed playing with words therefore I want to share this piece. Enjoy! :)

"The sun was showering love and warmth on the trees and the flowers, giving them an immense amount of energy to complete their essence. Plain green was painted with blotches of colorful flowers. The trees stood proudly, boasting about the fact that they belonged. The flowers bloomed exquisitely, only to the delight of the sun and the sky. The shrubs cloaked the dominant white walls with their thorny branches. All claimed quintessential territory. A solemn serenity filled the entire place. But it was as cheerless as the grave; there was a void in this setting. The fauna was unseen.

A small step made its way towards nature.

The leaves of the trees were rustling, perturbed by the sudden intrusion of a strange presence in the stillness. But the glass warmed the soles of the unknown, cherishing the proximity of another being after so long.

Ester stood in the centre of the earth, gazing upon the eerie silence. His eyes were observing nature, never missing any single beat of change. In his place, any other child would be shrieking in gaiety for the freedom. But strain never once left his eyes - the eyes of an old age bearing a young face. His blonde hair was tousled. He felt unwanted, but he didn't retaliate.

He wouldn't.

Ester felt it - the creeping disruption that was spreading amongst the trees. He also knew, that the wind was watching him intently, for silence echoed throughout nature as he took another step forward.

Ester was still.

And after a few moments, he lay down on the grass - the grass which hugged his back tightly. He extended his hands towards the sky, blocking the sun from penetrating through his eyes - his inner self. A shadow formed on his face, touching his skin.

Ester remembered everything. He recalled the times when he was five. He was walking alone towards the park. And every step he made added to more whispers in the background. By the age of seven, he was numb to all other beings except himself. His sagacity showed him the truth.

His existence was feared.

It was just natural for people to avoid him - avoid his gaze. Ester was a wandering soul on earth. An empty glass. A shattered mirror.

And now, nature too was intimidated,

To the utmost chagrin of the shadow, the sun slowly insinuated itself onto Ester's skin, grasping hold. Ester nonchalantly and languidly stood up. All those thoughts dwelling inside his mind dissolved into thin air.

A soft melody was reverberating in the air, breaking the overwhelming silence, spreading euphoria in nature. The seething trees were sullenly mystified, incredulous to whatever was happening. The flowers emanated pure radiance.

Ester sensed a flutist ahead of him. With thoughtful trails he ascended the grassy stairway which spiraled all the way towards the top. As he reached the last step, the melody vanished, devoured once more by the compressing silence.

A voice occupied the neglected air.

"Welcome, changeling. I've been waiting."

Ester smiled."

Relationship

Assalamu'alaikum wrb :) Dedicated to my readers. I guess sooner or later relationship issues will hit us. But rest assured, Allah is always there to guide us. Kudos to Aiman Azlan. All rights goes to him. I simply pasted the information here. May Allah bless you.

Relationship: Almost All Of My Friends Have Boyfriends, Except Me. Why?

Assalamualaikum Aiman.

I broke up with my first love after a year. After that, I never had a boyfriend. Sometimes I ask myself, "Am I too ugly to have a boyfriend?" Almost all of my friends have boyfriends and when we go out, they always tell me about their boyfriends. I feel jealous.

Why does Allah do this to me?

----------

Waalaikumussalam.

Thank you for your honest question.

The desire to love and to be loved is natural. I have it, you have it, and others have it too. However, in Islam, we are taught how to love and to be loved in a way that God intends it. In Islam, we are also taught that we all have the power to make our own choices.

Hence, in this case, we can choose whether to love and to be loved the way God intends it or not. In the end, we will all live and die with the consequences of our choices, for better or for worse.

I can imagine that you are feeling unappreciated knowing that you are boyfriend-less while most of your friends are with boyfriends. I am not trying to ridicule or undermine your feelings about this subject. I acknowledge the pain. What I suggest to you is to reconsider the situation from a different perspective.

Don't be sad that you don't have a boyfriend. Instead, be grateful.

The Quran said clearly, "And do not approach zina (premarital sex). Indeed, it is an ever immorality and is evil as a way." (Surah al-Isra: 32)

Zina is a destination and there are paths that lead to that destination. Not only does Islam teaches us not to commit zina, it also teaches us not to go near it. We shouldn't even be on the paths to zina, let alone arrive at the destination. In English they have a saying, "Prevention is better than cure." In this particular case, the saying fits perfectly. We are preventing ourselves from zina by avoiding the paths that lead to it.

When you are on the path, you will eventually arrive at the destination. It might take a short time or it might take a long time, but surely you will arrive at the destination if you keep walking on that path.

One of the paths that lead to zina is this boyfriend and girlfriend relationship.

If you look at it that way, you should be grateful that Allah saved you from being on that path. Instead of feeling jealous about your friends, you should feel a sense of compassion for them and you should wish that they get off that path as well. They should be more like you, not the other way around.

This isn't to say that the people who have boyfriends or girlfriends are bad people. We don't condemn a person because of one sin. The person might be doing a sin in public, but we have no idea about all the good deeds that he or she commits in private. So we leave the judging part to Allah. But for this one particular sin, we offer our help if the person wants it and we ask Allah to open his or her heart to change for the better.

I hope that helps. Forgive me if I have said something I shouldn't have.

Allah knows best.

May Allah grant you a righteous, lawfully-wedded spouse and may you both enter Jannah together. Ameen.

p/s: You are not too ugly to have a boyfriend. You are too precious to have one.

AIMAN AZLAN

www.aimanazlan.com

When the world fades away..

You wake up startled, looking at the watch; afraid that you'll be late. Sighing in relief you start preparing yourself. He's waiting for you. Splashing cold water on your face, you re-energise yourself. Get a hold on yourself, you need to look and feel great. Staring at your reflection, giving yourself a once-over, you smile. Decent. There were times that you were late and for most of it you cried, afraid that you have disappointed the one you love. But now you want to be on time. There's a chance! You need to prove that you're willing to do anything. Love can get to such an extent, right? That dawning realisation seems to motivate you further. Yes you are ready for your date now. With the ambience beckoning to be gratified, you have never felt more at peace. And then you begin praying. A date with Allah in the last third of the night.. as the rest of the world begins to fade.

A Journey You & I Share

Assalamu'alaikum wrb,

Dearest brothers and sisters,

You know sometimes when we're doing something fun, time just seems to fly by so fast? But when we're doing ibadah everything just feels so slowwwwww. And I'm thinking, exactly! Ibadah is supposed to be slow, Allah is giving you that time to savour the moments between you and Him. And when it's something we call fun- usually there's no Allah there. I mean, come on. Movie nights, K-box, dates, hangouts, Twister, jamming, LoL, PS, gossiping, etc: is there Allah in these things? Rarely. Very rarely.

When we don't know who He is, we dread the time we spend in our prayer or any other ibadah. But when we learn to know who our Creator is, we crave for the time where we will spend in His remembrance.

I used to chase pointless love to a point of changing taste in music, or the way I dress just to get the other person's attention. But really? Who was I kidding? But when I found the love of Allah. Like that's it. Everything felt right, the halal way, the right way. Even if I were to be with someone right now, and it "feels" right, it's still wrong for me because.. it's not even halal. I still have a guilty conscience to Allah too.

All those stuff I deemed fun.. yes they were fun I admit. But they all lack one thing. Serenity. And when I was thrown to UK where I had to fend for myself, my only salvation was in my prostration. The need to humbly submit to The One who listens. And that's when my authentic love story began.. and it still is. It keeps renewing every single day. It's so overwhelming. His love.

Who would have thought that this Sarah who loved being athletic and boyish and this Sarah who never in a million years would agree to make-ups and skirts.. suddenly changes from skinny jeans to skirts every single day? To a point when if I don't wear skirts anymore now I feel queer in a lot of ways. Even in sports. Even when I hike, yes! Now I tell you that's His love.

I used to strive for competition; to be number one. And it was tough battling the intelligent, the natural talents, in all others stuff I wanted to be good at: singing, music, dancing, Rubix cube (yes, LOL it was an in thing once), blogging, acting, running, hockey, etc. I hated the fact that I can never be at the top. There will always be someone replacing the top in due time.

But once I found His love, I only have to strive for Him. Do any kindness and He will give you reward. And man, I am waiting for Jannatul Firdaus. True, I can be one of those Muslims who pray five times a day and that's it. I might get Jannah but not THE highest Jannah. Seriously? I'm selfish. I want the highest of the highest reward and that's Jannatul Firdaus. So I do all these things some people deem "extreme" which I TOO used to deem extreme but really now I know these "extreme" (now it's the norm and awesome!) will get me there faster. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I'm a straight Jannah person, but a servant can hope right? Hope, fear and love? :)

And here I am sharing this story because.... Jannatul Firdaus is not for one person only. I want you.. to share this journey with me too.

A Stigma

Assalamu'alaikum wrb dear brothers and sisters.. 

Here's a poem I was inspired with last night.. 

"What is the truth when we think that our truth is the truth?

How can we even justify, when we are not qualified to clarify?

We base our opinion from our dense judgement but not from the Quran.

Are we all seriously embracing this stigma, please all we have to do is just iqra (Al-'Alaq: 1 - 5)."

If you were to read it.. it takes the persona of Brother Boonaa Mohammed 's style. The only reason I think  I was inspired is because of the anguish currently happening in the world. Anguish of the social networks. Anguish of the shared button being pressed too much. Our mind is so limited. Our knowledge of Islam is so limited. The smaller the scale, the smaller our brain.. haram becomes halal, as long as we're Muslim. But define Muslim? Muslim because our parents are Muslim? 

So ask ourselves. Why do we pray? Is it for Allah? Or actually because we were taught to pray from when we were small? Why do wear the hijab? Is it for Allah? Or actually because we were asked to since we were small?

But my friend.. although if it was really because we were taught from small that we are Muslims.. and Islam is our religion. Don't you think that now.. it is time for you to explore what Islam really means to you?

Ask yourself, embrace Islam again whole-heartedly. Learn and read. Just like the first wahyu is "Iqra" which means read.

Islam has become a nationality just like we are proud of our country. Islam is nothing until suddenly hey Happy Muslims are out there and we are all like, "I'm a proud Muslim too yay."

There's so much I want to say too but I'm not a scholar.. I'm just this girl who was once lost and found Allah midway and still praying that Allah will continue to give her hidayah until her death with "La Ilaha IllAllah Muhammadur Rasulullah."

And until then..

Heal

Heart, the home of my iman.

I need you..

to heal.

Love,
A lost sinning soul.