Words

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Dear brothers and sisters,

I made a mistake. A huge mistake. But the second I realised what I did, it was too late to take it back. This is it about words.. you can never take it back once it is spoken.

I have let myself down, let others down and most importantly, I have done something which Allah S.W.T disfavor. The act of gossiping and backbiting. And I am wondering when will I ever stop this bad habit. To be honest, I am that type of person who speaks without thinking. This mouth of mine needs to be filtered. Today, I said something I should not have.. about another person to someone else.. When I realised what I had done, it was just too late.. and the remorse I feel is how shameful and disgraceful I am as a servant.

Alhamdulillah Allah S.W.T is Just. He gave me time to reflect upon myself (muhasabah) and rewarded me with friends who help me gain strength from this defeat of imaan. It is most obvious that I am not perfect, so when I talk about others behind their back, does it now show how ugly I am? That my heart is still corrupted. And I hate it. Why does my tongue roll out judgement easily? Ya Allah.. It is shameful for me because I have prayed for forgiveness during the end of Zulhijjah. So why did I easily sin again after that? :')

But when I think about it, is He not teaching me a lesson is such a way that I will not do it again? Because He knows what is best for me. I may have gone worse that there was a need for today to happen. But Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. Allahu Akbar.