Lump of Flesh

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Dearest sisters and brothers,

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. Sitting in the Information Commons, overlooking the land of Sheffield from a distance.. I realise how vast the land that Allah gave us. It goes beyond our limited sight. Imagine looking over at the sea, we do not know what is beyond the horizon. Allah Jalla.. Jalaluhu.

Yesterday, I attended a QC Outing with my fellow BruSheff sisters at the Botanical Garden. It was amazing to see such a number of attendees. Allah really is The Best Planner. One you cannot deny. In nature we recited the Quran, in nature we ponder upon His words, in nature we play games for His sake and in nature we bonded for His sake. And only to Him we return.

I realise...

I have forgotten.

Forgotten how I once was.

Forgotten that I was once too a sinner.

And I still am.

And it is important for me to look back.

So I can remind myself..

I was once shameful.

I watched over other hearts around me and I know..

It was never the physical appearance.

It was never the judgement.

It was never the family background.

The only thing that matters is our heart. People's heart.

In da'wah, we badly want people to change and we forced them into the halal and haram. But we forgot, the revelations in Makkah during the earliest stages of Islam were all about akidah. Fixing the heart; that lump of flesh which commands the whole body. We forgot, once people strongly have faith in Allah, love Him and wants to seek His blessings, then it becomes easier for people to accept His rulings in the Quran.

Just like how I once was.

And shamely, I have forgotten.

How weak and futile we humans are..

Ya Waduud,

I need You.

Life and Death

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Dear brothers and sisters,

Alhamdulillah, finally I have the opportunity to write. However, it is not my writing (ironically). It is just a sharing I received and I wish to share it even more for all of us to ponder upon. Exam is coming up for me and will end on 4th June In Sya Allah. Make du'a for me, Jazakumullahu khaiyran katheera.

Starting with down below it is not of my writing. This is credits to Al-Maghrib Institute for reminders. May Allah reward the writer of this reminder. Until my next post In Sya Allah.

Small things with big rewards

When we wake up in the morning, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Is it Allah azzawajjal? Is it hitting your snooze button on your alarm? What about the fact that had He willed it, you would never have woken up from that sleep, yet you did wake up.

 Sleep is something taken for granted. Sometimes we may say things like, 'Yeah I'll see you in the morning' as we are taking for granted the fact that we will get up from our sleep. What if we didn't? Do we even really know if we will wake up? We don't even give it a second thought, and then what happens? It's the next morning, after a good nights sleep, and all we do is go about doing our normal day to day things, forgetting the blessing Allah jalla wa'ala has placed upon us.

“It is He, Who takes your souls by night (when you are asleep), and has knowledge of all that you have done by day, then He raises (wakes) you up again that a term appointed (your life period) be fulfilled, then (in the end) unto Him will be your return. Then He will inform you of that which you used to do”

[al-An’aam 6:60]

It was narrated that Hudhayfah ibn al-Yamaan said: When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went to bed, he would say: “Bismika amoot wa ahyaa (in Your name I live and die)” and when he got up he would say:

 “Al-hamdu Lillaah alladhi ahyaana ba’da ma amaatana wa ilayh il-nushoor ''

(Praise be to Allaah Who has given us life after taking it from us and unto Him is the resurrection)

[Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5953]

This was also narrated by Muslim from the hadeeth of al-Bara’ ibn ‘Aazib (may Allaah be pleased with him).

Al-Nawawi said:

What is meant by amaatana (taking [life] away from us) is sleep. Al-nushoor (the resurrection) refers to the resurrection on the Day of Resurrection. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) pointed out that waking up after sleep which is like death is an affirmation of the resurrection after death.

The scholars said: The wisdom behind saying the du’aa’ when wanting to sleep is so that a person’s final deed will be this du’aa’, and the wisdom behind saying the du’aa’ when waking up is so that the first of his actions will be remembrance of Tawheed and good words. 

[Sharh Muslim, 17/35]

What will be the last thing you said before you died? Something that is related to the dunya? Or something that is related to your akhirah? In the grand scheme of things, we all know, ultimately, what is of more importance. Let us try and implement this in our lives so that the first and last thing we say is in rememberance of Allah jalla wa 'ala.

I Found Love

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Dearest brothers and sisters,

It has been a while. I have been meaning to write for a long time: sometimes words they just flow into my head like a waterfall however, like the waterfall itself, it continues its flow in and out. So I lost all the words I wanted to blog.

In the duration from my previous post, a lot of unbelievably amazing things have happened to me,  Alhamdullilah. I see Islam in a different way. A life full of love and gratefulness. Things may happen that ruin our emotions, however that is only short-lived because we have Allah S.W.T. In times of sadness we turn to Allah, in times of happiness we turn to Allah; every little thing we do we remember Allah. He created us, and we should be thankful.

From time to time I remember my past and ask myself, am I worthy of being here? Worthy of getting His Forgiveness? Worthy of being given a second chance. And then I open a page of the Quran... ALL words of consolation are there, laid out for us to see. And you wonder about Him a bit and He will give you a sign. From the nature, from your dreams, from your heart. I cannot even mention all of it because it overwhelms me. His presence which is closer than our own jugular vein. He's always there, watching us. We just never noticed because we moved further away from Him.

Allah S.W.T has become the reason I live.

The Quran has become my remedy.

Muhammad S.A.W has become my inspiration.

Ukhuwah... it's a strong bond. To strive in this life for the sake of Allah S.W.T. Now, every single day has become a quest to know Allah more deeper. I fell in love. My religion. My Prophet. My Creator.

Under Your Feet

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Dear brothers and sisters,

Who in this world do you value the most?

Today, I am going to tell you about my most valuable person. My Jannah lies under her feet. My mother. She carried me for 9 months and for undergoing through that pain Mom, I will eternally be grateful. Sarah rindu Mama :')

See.. my Mom, she is not exactly an academically educated person considering she quit school early.. but what she has taught me in my years of living.. is worth more than any education this world can provide. She gave me the knowledge of the deen. Constantly mentioning Allah S.W.T. ever since I was small. I never took heed.. but now that I do..

Ya Allah.. grant her Jannah.

There is one thing I pray that I will be able to do for her. My dream. I want to send her for Hajj with my father. I want to earn the money myself and present that gift to her. My Mom has not gone for Hajj yet and as I am becoming more mature, she is getting older. And she needs to complete her 5th pillar. I sincerely pray that I will be able to fulfill this wish.

She never complains always staying home every single day. The only people that she sees in her life is us, her husband and children. And her family.. is in Singapore. Not in Brunei. And what do we as her children do.. We constantly ignore her advices. Yet she is still patient and passionate.

Maybe I should have been more closer to her. But it's not too late. It's never too late. I do feel that when I call home I find myself opening up bit by bit. Oh Allah, You soften my heart and Alhamdulillah I am able to love more and give more.

Ma, I miss you.

Words

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Dear brothers and sisters,

I made a mistake. A huge mistake. But the second I realised what I did, it was too late to take it back. This is it about words.. you can never take it back once it is spoken.

I have let myself down, let others down and most importantly, I have done something which Allah S.W.T disfavor. The act of gossiping and backbiting. And I am wondering when will I ever stop this bad habit. To be honest, I am that type of person who speaks without thinking. This mouth of mine needs to be filtered. Today, I said something I should not have.. about another person to someone else.. When I realised what I had done, it was just too late.. and the remorse I feel is how shameful and disgraceful I am as a servant.

Alhamdulillah Allah S.W.T is Just. He gave me time to reflect upon myself (muhasabah) and rewarded me with friends who help me gain strength from this defeat of imaan. It is most obvious that I am not perfect, so when I talk about others behind their back, does it now show how ugly I am? That my heart is still corrupted. And I hate it. Why does my tongue roll out judgement easily? Ya Allah.. It is shameful for me because I have prayed for forgiveness during the end of Zulhijjah. So why did I easily sin again after that? :')

But when I think about it, is He not teaching me a lesson is such a way that I will not do it again? Because He knows what is best for me. I may have gone worse that there was a need for today to happen. But Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. Allahu Akbar.

Blessings

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Dear brothers and sisters, in my Quranic Session today we talked about the blessings that we are given by Allah S.W.T. Truth be told every single thing in this life is a blessing. This life in itself is a blessing. So be grateful :) And let Him know you are grateful by doing all the things He loves. Start by praying :) And this is a post found and I would like to share it as well.

Today, try to count Allah’s blessings in your life.

Start with your breath, your beating heart, your ability to see, smell and touch, and the ability to laugh…

Continue to your favorite foods, the roof over your head, and the people who love you…

From there move out to the blue sky, the beauty of a single tree, the sunshine on your face, and the majesty of a rising moon…

Keep counting…

Don’t forget your imaan (your faith) and your knowledge of Allah. That is the greatest blessing of Allah and the truth is that you did nothing to earn it; rather it was a gift from Allah’s infinite mercy.

Also do not forget your safety. So many people in this world live in unsafe conditions; in war, poverty, starvation, refugee camps, political imprisonment, and other forms of extreme hardship. Just to wake up in your bed in the morning and know that your life is not in immediate danger is a great blessing.

Keep counting…

Allah says: “[...] and if you should count the favors of Allah, you could not enumerate them,”(14:34).

A Chapter Closed

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Dear sisters and brothers,

SubhanAllah being here in the UK, I thank Allah S.W.T for giving me hidayah day by day. Masya Allah how every single day I find myself loving Islam more and more. When you open your heart to the blessings that Allah gives you, you will find contentment. I am blessed to be studying in Sheffield, where I have lovely ukhuwahs close-by to help me repair myself and fix my deen. Everyday I look forward to the time when I will do sujood, to magnify His glory, to make myself understand, that I am no one but just a mere creation.

Only recently, have I deleted my old Facebook account and created a new one. It is because of the fact that there are countless pictures of me without full coverage there. And I am scared. I keep repenting but my sin of having my pictures seen by non-mahrams is still running loose. So with the aid of my lovely ukhuwahs who asked me which is more important: dunia or akhirah? So a simple solution to that was just to delete my Facebook. It was a lot to take in because basically most of my life was in there but then again... that's my worldly life and I'm IN NEED of my akhirah. He's always watching. After deleting my Facebook, I felt such a huge relief. Masya Allah. That part of my story is closed. Let the past be the past. My past made me ME but let's not open the chapters of sin anymore and walk the path of Jannah, In Sya Allah :)

This quote from: http://youtu.be/dv1cKCVzv4I video has opened my eyes. Masya Allah. Bless the sister who shared the video.

"The more you grow, the more you study, the more Imaan you have. The more you become dis-attracted to some of the things, of the dunya. You don't like what you used to do. I have Quran in my heart, I have the love of the Prophet, I have the love of Allah, I have something in me. And I'm now different. I feel different."

Pray for me. That I will always follow the deen.