Thank You, Mother

Assalammualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

It's 7th February today. My mother, the person who carried me in her womb for 9 months, suffering through pain of bearing me, is one year older than her age last year. Her birthday is today. And although my sister is not home to bring us all out for dinner, I have my prayers for her. It must have been a roller-coaster journey raising me. I used to throw my tantrums and lose my temper easily. I was even slapped once or maybe twice. I admit I went overboard.

Dear mother, for your relentless efforts I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have yet to experience what you have. Like what you always tell me, I will feel what you feel when I have kids on my own but DO NOT continue the irreligious streak, pass on guides to Allah for my kids. Amin.

Mauliddur Rasul has just passed us but we WON'T stop remembering him and loving him. Allahuma Salli 'ala Sayyidina Muhammad. I have so much more to say but as my Graduation approaches, my time is mostly occupied by rehearsals and responsibilities.

I have to say that I need to purify my heart, back to a pure intention for Allah S.W.T. As people have been noticing my changes, I'm afraid that this heart will stray and I need to replenish my heart, mind and soul everytime by reading the Quran and Islamic books. Ya Allah, guide me through this dunia for akhirah.

To the end; to the beginning.

Assalammualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Without a doubt, 2011 is hours from ending and 2012 is hours from beginning. To be able to breathe now, I am thankful. Praises to Allah S.W.T. for giving me a chance to make a change and serve him at my utmost. Another year has passed after 2010. I might not be fully contented with myself now but I can rightfully admit that I've become better than who I used to be. Alhamdulillah.

I watched New Year's Eve, a Hollywood movie and I have to say that it is a beautiful story of how life changes due to decisions that we make. But we are Muslims; and our life differs so much than theirs who succumb to alcohol, pork or lust for joy. In no means am I critizing the other religions - I'm just saying that we as Muslims, are asked to control ourselves to achieve Jannah - a heaven for the servants who have served Allah S.W.T. with sincerity of Rasullah S.A.W.

Humans all over the world today are reunited, as we all enter 2012 Masihi together! As we are in the mid of Safar, I wish everyone a Happy New Year! Forgive and forget with sincerity the people who you have held on your grudges to, smile and start anew :) Change yourself step by step. Don't change into someone else, be someone better! Do charity! Do not hope and expect; instead say Alhamdulillah into the blessings that Allah S.W.T. has provided us with.

To my family, my best friends, my close friends, the people who I have just met, the people who I have loved - you have my gratitude for making me who I am today.

The Struggle

Assalammualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Everyone can start a change. I started to pray every day for the last two years (with the exception of some days and Subuh) and still went out without covering my aurat. Tell me, does that sound right? Thinking back I was shameful. But let me tell you what, it IS a start. Do not be ashamed, but do not be proud of it as well. Pray every day, renew your faith; eventually you will come to a firm decision to cover your aurat. A question I ask myself now, “How do you become a full Muslimah when you still walk out from your house uncovered?”

The undeniable truth, I am still struggling actually. REALLY STRUGGLING. You cannot imagine how I constantly battle with the desire to wear something nice which refers to revealing my body parts and showing my hair. The ugly truth be told, I love getting boys’ attention and being complimented by people. Who doesn’t? Now that I am midway of being fully covered, people just do not look at me as much. I am invisible in a way. Sometimes I miss those compliments and argue with myself to reveal my aurat to the world. But in the end the one question that brings me back to the real path is “Who do I want to please? People or Allah? Where do I want to go? Hell or Jannah?” THANK YOU ALLAH S.W.T. You are my savior. You know what is best for me. Alhamdulillah.

If I think about it deeper I should be grateful, boys only look at me when I’m uncovered which means they are full of lust. Being invisible now means I’m protected from shame, false accusations and eye undressing.

Fellow sisters, let me tell you, IT’S NOT WORTH IT. All the attention, the fame, the vanity – it cannot even compete with the enormous reward you will reap if you fight from it all.

I'm not perfect - I tend to make mistakes here and there still. I make judgements. But I pray everyday, that I can one step at a time throw the bad habits of mine.... purity is a hard thing to achieve but Insya Allah. With patience, doa and action we can change! Amin.

Unsettling

Assalammualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

Hello brothers and sisters! I realize that my visit counts have increased. I do not know who visits my blog but if you’re reading this, thank you so much for your time! Jazakallahu Khaiyr!

I have officially completed all my A Level papers. Alhamdulillah, all of them were do-able at the very least. Never could have done it without the habit to recite Al-Fatihah, Surah Kursi, zikir SubhanAllah 33x, Alhamdulillah 33x and Allahu Akbar 34x. Trust me; they are the cure for anxiety and calms down our heart. For those who are still sitting for their exams, try it! Insya Allah you may complete your paper with ease. Amin Amin Amin Ya Rabbal Amin.

You know that unsettling feeling of guilt whenever you miss a prayer? I had it yesterday. When I went out with my friends; we were chilling at a café. At first it was comfortable, since I have done my Asar prayer and I was hoping to get back before Maghrib. Turned out due to certain circumstances, we had to stay and complete a work. Without realization the clock struck 8… then 8.30… and I have successfully missed my Maghrib and Isya’ prayer.

THAT situation is what I want to avoid in the future. It’s already hard to survive in a circle of friends where sometimes, prayers do not mean as much. It’s harder to even comment on them when they only turn to Allah in times of despair – all because of who I was. Truth be told, we cannot erase our past; it stays there but are they not means of looking back, realize our mistakes and move on? I’m trying to…. change. Help… me.

In a process of purifying my heart, I have been tolerating everything that has been happening around me. At least, I tell myself that I can. Sometimes my heart thinks of something bad to comment on situations around me but Astaghfirullah. You know what; yes I am struggling – not with my identity but with the prejudice thrown at me. I tell myself, every time, that Allah is always with me even if no one else is, and I can stay strong. Alhamdulillah.

Dear Anonymous,

Assalammualaikum and Waiyyakum. You do not know how happy and blessed I feel to be able to read your comment! I never thought that someone would comment on any of my posts let alone read it but.. here you are - living proof! I can only tell you that, you do not have to be do a sudden leap of faith.. you can start slow, turn to Allah when you feel weak and He will guide you :) I have had my share of hard times but along those lines keep on reciting "Lailahailallah", Insya Allah the pathway to a better self will be revealed.

Code of Conduct

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

I have come to understand that it is really hard to conduct yourself righteously (religiously) in the midst of anyone other than yourself. You get washed by the sea of entertainment, carried away by the jokes and laughter. How easily we are swayed from Allah just by meeting other people. And I also found out that when you meet and greet someone with "Assalamualaikum", Insya Allah, there will be no harm that will come from your mouth or from your heart about the other person.

I actually was about to write up a whole lot of problems going on with me, my worldly desires and the Akhirat but everything just dissolved in my head. Astaghfirullah.

Stumbled upon this in the Internet - "We as a muslims have lost their identity. We are the claimants of the world's truest religion rather a complete way of life but unfortunately have not shown a very good model of it to the whole world. My passion is to work for the revival of Muslims and their dignity and to show that this is the religion." Masya Allah. May Allah bless you Infinity.

All humans are dead, except those who have knowledge

and all those who have knowledge are asleep, except those who do good deeds

and those who do good deeds are deceived, except those who are sincere

and those who are sincere are always in a state of worry

- Imam Shafi

An unexamined life is not worth living.

- Socrates.

It takes no energy to create darkness

An expert is someone who has made all the mistakes in his or her field

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

- Albert Einstein (1879 - 1955)

Other than that I wish to share life-changing blogs about Islam and how we revolve in it:
http://baseerath.blogspot.com/
http://baseerath-womeninislam.blogspot.com/
http://www.lessonsoftheday.com/

Masya Allah.
http://youtu.be/CcxzIE4xxrI

Zikir (Names of Allah)

Assalamualaikum waramatullahi wabarakatuh.

 

Mom woke me up yesterday and gave me a handwritten paper. It contains useful zikir for me to put to practice daily. I am really grateful. (Ya Allah, murahkanlah rezeki ibuku yang bersusah payah menggunakan tenaganya untuk mengajarku.) So far reciting the zikir (names of Allah) has gave me greater confidence to face my day. Insya Allah I will recite it everyday and let it become a habit. Amin.

I wish to share this with my Muslim brothers and sisters. So here it is:


Untuk Menguatkan Semangat

65 - الواجد

Ertinya: Yang Dapat Memperolehi Segala Apa Yang Dikehendaki.

Ucapkanlah "Yaa Waajidu" pada tiap-tiap kali anda menyuapkan makanan ke mulut anda, nescaya Allah akan menjadikan anda seorang yang kuat semangat untuk berjuang di dalam segala bidang. Terutamanya dibidang pelajaran. Di mana sifat-sifat yang negatif seperti bimbang, letih-lesu dan lain-lain lagi akan hilang dari diri anda.

Untuk Terang Hati Dan Tajam Penglihatan

66 - الماجد

Ertinya: Yang Maha Besar Kemuliannya

Cubalah ucapkan "Yaa Maajidu" sebanyak 400 kali tiap-tiap hari. Insya Allah, anda akan dikurniakan hati yang terang dan ingatan yang tajam. Anda tidak akan jadi seorang pelupa sepanjang masa anda mengamalkannya.

Supaya Dapat Menjadi Seorang Yang Pandai

98 - الرشيد

Ertinya: Yang Maha Pandai

Lihatlah kejadian alam ini, yang mana betapa pandainya Allah mencipta sesuatu itu, perhatikan anggota tubuh badan kita sahaja disitu sudah tergambar betapa besarnya kepandaian dan kekuasaan Allah dalam mencipta akan sesuatu. Maka jika anda ingin menjadi orang yang cerdik pandai disamping anda menuntut ilmu pengetahuan dengan mengembangkan bakat0bakat yang telah diberi oleh Allah dibidang masing-masing, jangan lupa, perbanyakkan berzikit "Yaa Rashiidu" di setiap hari setelah selesai solat, maka Allah akan menambah lagi kepandaian kita.

Supaya Dijadikan Seorang Yang Bersifat Penyabar

99 - الصبور

Ertinya: Yang Maha Sabar

Jika anda mempunyai sifat yang pemarah atau cepat panas dengan disebabkan oleh sesuatu, dan anda berhasrat untuk menukarkan sifat anda kepada sifat penyabar, maka cubalah anda ucapkan "Yaa Sobuur" sebanyak mungkin, setiap kali selesai solat lima waktu, dan hendaklah diamalkan pada setiap hari. Insya Allah perangai anda yang pemarah itu akan bertukar menjadi seorang yang penyabar.

Do'a Mohon Ilham

"Allahumma alhimni rushdi wa 'idh ni min syarri nafsi"

Ertinya: Ya Allah ilhamkanlah padaku pelajaran-pelajaran untukku dan lindungilah aku dari kejelekkan jiwaku.

Pride

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

First of all, I have to say that I am a prideful person. I sometimes deem myself better than the others. I might still be doing this without notice and I really do despise myself for doing it. Who am I to be prideful in the sight of Allah S.W.T? My heart was rust. I want to be able to fix it. Ya Allah, help me in becoming a better person. Guide me and cleanse my heart. I pray to be a modest person and not judging of others.

In trying to find meaningful cures, I stumbled upon a website that teaches Islamic morals:

http://www.momin.com/urdu/Books/Islamic+Morals-7.html 

I also found a website of another Muslim, who had the same problem as me:

http://www.simplemuslim.com/2009/07/dangers-of-pride-and-arrogance.html 

Masya Allah. We are not alone in this world. Someone else might be having the same problem I have. We are all experiencing the same troubles. This is how Allah brings us together.

Rasulullah S.A.W "Say, if you love Allah, then follow me, Allah will love you and forgive your sins. And Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful." [Al-Qur'an 3:31]